Goodness gracious.
I am in an internet cafe, right now.
Penang, Malaysia.
Still processing Chennai, India.
WTF?? I swear to God.
Man, seriously, I...have been trying to compose my thoughts, not even for the sake of writing a blog entry but just for the sake of Andre.
Moreover, this isn't a blog about India.
I am happy to have checked my email for the first time in ages and have a few emails. People have told me that they missed me. It feels good. I have to always make sure that I don't give off the wrong vibe...I AM NOT MISERABLE!
*thinking*
Okay. This reminds me of the times when people think that I have an attitude because I am not talking or being super involved in the conversation. Sometimes I just sit back. I can't explain the space that I am in - I am just in it. The world is every extreme possible. From staying in a Dalit Village in South India to watching a shadow puppet show at University Science Malaysia and hanging out with students from all over Malaysia. I DON'T HAVE WORDS FOR IT! I often hear people talk about that they are doing things they only dreamt about - I have never event dreamt about certain things. The knowledge that I have/had of places such as Malaysia are to the extent of knowing that clothes and shoes are/were made here. Learning and seeing places like District 6 in S. Africa where Blacks, Coloureds,and Malays lived but were forced to move from...I am not only learning about it but trailing the footsteps and connecting the dots. And no matter how much I write, and to what depth...it's a whole different impact to see it...in addition to all the other factors that I talk about. Don't worry, I am not in danger of having an aneurysm from it all.
All in all - I am indeed having a great time. But it's not the good time that one automatically considers as a good time with everyone holding hands and drifting through the world with delightful naivety.
The food in Malaysia is uber good.
I am learning to eat with my right hand - scoop with the finger tips and not lick my fingers. This I learned in India. In addition, I did it while eating lunch.
Oh yeah, so funny, soon as I got off of the ship I was walking off of the dock to the main street where there were cab drivers...and soon as they see me they start calling me brother and asking me where I was from. Did I not just get off the ship? Yeah, it's consistent in every port, thus far. I know this black guy did not get off of the ship. So I have been African, European, Caribbean - everything but American. And of course, I get updated on the US politics "You like Obama? Yes, brotha, I like Obama. We want him." So though, I don't get the paper and don't have internet minutes, I can expect a good convo shortly after my arrival. I just have to give it time.
I have a small afro and a face of facial hair. I more than likely won't shave until I get back to NYC - in May. I thought I'd stay in Miami for a minute...NOPE! It will be nice to visit but I miss home. I can honestly say it. Again, I am not hoping this voyage goes by faster, NO, but I feel it's important to acknowledge how I feel. I miss text messaging, I miss unlimited email, I miss late night phone calls, I miss friends, I miss family, I miss friends that have become family, I miss family that has become friends, I miss crashing people's iceboxes. But I said it once and I will say it again I LOVE THE SPACE I AM IN! It is so real. In fact, it's real to the nth degree. I have traveled and moved around enough to know when I feel a certain way. I remember moving from Kansas City to San Diego when i was 14. It was hard as hell in the beginning. In fact, I never quite got used to it, but I learned to appreciate it and now I truly appreciate it...it's a part of me. Next, when I went to Morehouse College and did everything on my own...hurt like hell, then got cancer, but I pushed through. Feelings never quite went away of wanting to study there but my path is different. I still have tinges of anger, distress, incompleteness, but then again I live in NYC, now. It's like a relationship and how they pan out. You may not be with your first love but that next love will be completely different. I am not a fool. It's some universal theme in life...I can't articulate it, nor figured it out...but it exists.
I love my voyage
I hate my voyage
I am happy
I am pissed
I am pleased
I am unsatisfied
I am irritated
I am irritating
I express.
It's a trade off.
ps - in the picture if you look really closely then you will see that you can finely see through my lens. The rest of the landscape shows that I am but I am a microcosm of a macrocosm. This blog reflects how I see and am experiencing things. Life doesn't come with instructions or explanations. Those are up to us.
Well, I need to try and figure out some things online.
Right now, I am listening to "Mikey Rocks" by The Cool Kids. My roommate gave me this song.
"No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow."
— Lin Yutang
Andre
